Muffin Top to Rocky Top
Verse #1
Yesterday I thought I had a growth
Under my 24th rib!
Called my wife and said, “Come over here,
And you’d better come quick!”
When she came and saw my circumstance,
She started laughing out loud.
Said, “That growth you have’s not cancerous.
You have a muffin Top now.”
Chorus
Muffin Top, you’ll always be
The doughnut stuck on me!
Good ol’ muffin top,
Why don’t you please leave me?
Why don’t you please leave me?
Verse #2
Once I used to have the body type
Of a younger athlete.
Then my body started gaining weight
Thanks to Hostess Twinkies.
All my clothes that used to fit real nice
Now are unusually small.
And my sides look like a biscuit tube
Or a badly warped ball.
Chorus
Muffin Top, you’ll always be
The doughnut stuck on me!
Good ol’ muffin top,
Why don’t you please leave me?
Why don’t you please leave me?
Verse #3
Once I used to have the fortitude
of a child that’s twelve.
Then this mass that’s wrapped around my waist
Has made it hard to inhale.
It’s been many, many years ago
I tied my shoes on my knees.
Now when I go down to tie a knot,
I can’t tie and breathe.
Chorus
Muffin Top, you’ll always be
The doughnut stuck on me!
Good ol’ muffin top,
Why don’t you please leave me?
Why don’t you please leave me?
Verse #
Started looking for a remedy
That could keep it all in.
Only found a single article
That would make me look thin.
It was in top left dresser drawer
Of my mother-in-law.
It was a large pair of yoga pants,
And it covered it all.
Chorus
Muffin Top, you’ll always be
The doughnut stuck on me!
Good ol’ muffin top,
Why don’t you please leave me?
Why don’t you please leave me?
