A Youth Worker and His Questions

By Ken Collier

Why should a youth worker question?

1. It builds relationships and gives common ground.
2. It is a main source of information gathering.
3. A question stirs the conscience; an accusation hardens the will.
4. We are not able to read thoughts and motives.
5. Christ, the Wonderful Counselor, used them consistently.
6. Understanding a person’s beliefs, thoughts, actions, and motivations is key to uncovering sin problems and coming to a biblical solution.

What is a youth worker seeking to discover?

1. Thoughts
2. Feelings (emotions)
3. Behavior
4. Attitudes
5. Beliefs
6. Actions/words

In other words: What is going on in the heart!

For what is a youth worker not looking?

1. Every problem in the person’s life
2. Everybody else’s faults played over and over

What types of questions are useful?

1. Get-acquainted questions—visiting, relationship builders, “common ground” finders, looking for spirit and outlook on life, all help determine how someone wishes to have fun, show various attitudes, concentrate on the fact that I’m a person and you’re a person; in so many words say, “I like you, and I’m interested in you.”
   1. What’s your name?
   2. How many are in your family?
   3. Who lives in your home with you?
   4. Have you visited this church before?
   5. What church do you attend?
   6. What do you like about (your) church?
   7. Do you enjoy sports? Which ones? What teams do you like?
   8. When you have a little time, what do you enjoy doing?
   9. What do you do with your friends?
   10. What are your hobbies?
   11. What do you most look forward to on the weekend?
   12. Where do you go to school?
   13. What grade are you in?
   14. What’s your favorite subject(s)?
   15. What do you do during the summer?
   16. Have any plans for when you graduate from high school?
   17. Any plans for college? Which college? Why that one? What major?
2. X-ray questions (a deeper question, what motivates?)—searching “Why?” questions, framed concretely as “What?” questions, seek who or what is this person looking to for satisfaction. Timing is critical. These are not always questions to ask directly.
   1. What do you want?
   2. What would make you really happy?
   3. What will solve your problem?
   4. What do you really deserve that you’re not getting?
   5. What is so important to you that you would even think about disobeying God to get it?
   6. What do you feel like doing? Do you want what you want, or do you want what God wants in your life?
   7. What do you feel might happen that might even ruin your life?
   8. If one thing would happen that would take away a lot of your frustration, what would it be?
   9. If a genie would pop in to give you any one wish, what would it be?
   10. Who or what do you sacrifice for rather than God?
   11. Who do you tend to obey more than God?
   12. In the morning, what is the first thing your mind goes to normally?
   13. What is the thing you can’t wait to do throughout the day or on the weekend?
   14. During the day, what do you think about or dream about?
   15. When you think about your rights, what one right always gets trampled and shoved aside?
   16. In your opinion, which one of your friends or acquaintances “has the perfect setup”? In what ways does he “have it made”?
   17. Whose opinion of you counts most with you?
   18. From whom do you most love to get approval? From whom do you most fear rejection?
   19. What are you banking on to really “make it happen” in your life?
   20. What would make you feel rich, secure, prosperous?
   21. Was there ever an event or happening that made you think that God forgot about you or abandoned you? When was it? What happened?
   22. What is the hardest temptation for you to overcome?
   23. What is the hardest thing you will face as you go back home and do what God says is right?
   24. What is the hardest thing you will have to do when you get back home?
3. Specific questions (specific areas)—help gain a clearer picture in a specific part of life, give information to plan put-off/put-on projects, may uncover further problem areas that God wants to change

Area 1: Salvation, Assurance of Salvation

1. What does a person need to do to be saved?
2. Do you know what the term “born again” means?
3. Tell me about the time you got saved.
4. What are the Bible reasons why you believe you are saved?
5. Have you ever doubted your salvation? Very seriously? Very often?
6. What do you think causes these doubts?
7. Are you willing to face eternity in the next few moments with the hope you have now?
8. Tell me the reasons why you believe God would let you into His Heaven?

What is the difference between the way a Christian lives and the way an unsaved person lives?

Area 2: Family, Authority

1. Who are you closest to . . . your mom or your dad? Why do you think that is?
2. Are your parents saved?
3. Is everyone treated fairly at home? Who isn’t? Is anyone favored? Who?
4. How would you describe your parents? (too strict, too easy-going, just right)
5. Does your family do things together? What do you do?
6. What do you appreciate most about your dad? Least?
7. What do you appreciate most about your mom? Least?
8. What one thing would you change that would make your home happier?
9. Has anyone ever said, “You’re just like your mother/father”? Does that make you sad or happy? Why?
10. What do you do (or not do) that bothers your mom most? What do you do or not do that bothers your dad the most?
11. Does anyone “get away” with things in your home? Who? What’s done?
12. What’s the one thing in your home that makes you happiest? saddest? most angry?

Area 3: Friends

1. Who are your three closest friends? What do you like most about them?
2. Would you say they have a definite positive influence on you in your Christian life?
3. What do they do that brings you closer to Christ?
4. Is there anything they do that leads you farther away from Christ?
5. Do your friends get along with their parents?
6. Do you get along with your parents when you discuss things about your friends?
7. Do you discuss spiritual things with your friends? How often? When was the last time you had a discussion about God?
8. Which friend would you like to be like? Why?
9. What is the hardest thing you face with your friends?
10. To whom do you want to talk to when you are really hurting or in trouble?

Area 4: Dating, View of Sex

1. Do you date?
2. Are your parents in favor of the idea of dating? What rules have they set up for your boy/girl relationships?
3. What do you think is the purpose of dating?
4. Is it okay in certain circumstances for a Christian to be in a dating/social relationship with someone who is not saved?
5. When would it be okay?
6. Where do you normally go on a date?
7. Do you double, single, or group date?
8. Is there any occasion when sex would be acceptable in a dating relationship?
9. Would your friends say the same thing?
10. Do you have access to a car?
11. Do you have a curfew?
12. Have you ever written down any Bible commands for your relationship with a person of the opposite sex? Could you give me one?
13. Tell me a few things that will be true about the girl/boy you will marry?
14. Around your school or youth group, what is the biggest pressure when it comes to dating?

Area 5: Bitterness, Forgiveness

1. Have you ever been wounded deeply? What happened? What is your relationship with this person right now?
2. Who would you least like to be like? Why?
3. Do you find it easy or hard to forgive someone who does you wrong?
4. Has anyone ever asked your forgiveness? How did you respond?
5. Did you ever lose something or someone very dear to you? When? How have you responded to that?
6. What have you wanted more than anything that you have never gotten?
7. Have you ever considered suicide? When? What seemed to be so hopeless?
8. How do you ask someone’s forgiveness when you’ve done them wrong?
9. When was the last time you asked someone’s forgiveness? What had happened?
10. If you do something wrong to someone and you ask God’s forgiveness, do you believe you need to ask his/her forgiveness too?

Area 6: Bible, Church, School

1. What is your favorite book in the Bible? Why?
2. Do you understand the Bible when you read it?
3. Do you read your Bible regularly? What does it do for you?
4. What have you gotten from your devotions lately?
5. What Bible character would you most like to be like?
6. When was the last time you had a problem and the Bible showed you what to do about it?
7. What church do you attend? How long have you attended?
8. How often do you go? Do your parents go?
9. Where do you normally sit? With whom?
10. If you could change one thing about your church, what would it be?
11. What do you think of your pastor and/or youth pastor?
12. What do you like most about your church?
13. What is the best part of going to church?
14. What school do you attend? How long have you attended the school?
15. If public school, would you like to attend a Christian school? Why?
16. If Christian school, would you like to attend a public school? Why?
17. What is your opinion of the rules of your school?
18. Would you change them? How?
19. Is everyone treated fairly within the rules?
20. What teacher or administrator do you most admire?
21. What do you like most about your school?
22. What do you like least about your school?
23. What is the hardest thing you face at school?

Area 7: View of God

1. If the Lord were to come in here today and invite you to ask any question on your mind about what has happened in the past or what might happen in the future, what would you ask?
2. Do you believe God loves you? Have you ever doubted it? When? What happened?
3. Tell me some of the things you know about God.
4. As you think about God, what is He like?
5. Imagine the face of God. What would be the expression on His face most of the time when He watches you? (pleasure, anger, concern, sadness, love)
6. What do you know about God that gives you the most help when you think about it?
7. Can you trust God? Why or why not?
8. When someone says God is your heavenly Father, what does that bring to your mind?

Area 8: Temporal Values, Goals

1. If you could meet one person in the world, who would it be? Why?
2. Who is your favorite entertainer—the one you would really rather listen to or watch?
3. What are your favorite TV shows? How much do you watch each week?
4. Do you have your own TV? Do you have cable or satellite access?
5. What is your life’s ambition?
6. How do you classify the way you like to dress?
7. With whom would you like to trade places?
8. When are you the happiest? The saddest?
9. What one thing could you do or change that would make you more accepted by more people?
10. What would you like to do when you get out of school and/or college?
11. Write your own ticket. Where would you work? Where would you live? What kind of salary would you want?