Introduction

1. A polling firm supplied a 41-question survey to 1,300 students in 16 high schools, 1,600 college students, and 500 parents of teens and found out the following:
   1. 57% lost their virginity in high school.
   2. 79% lost their virginity by the end of college.
   3. 53% of 15 to 19-year-olds had been involved sexually.
2. This is what they are watching:
   1. G-rated movies 30%
   2. PG-rated movies 71%
   3. PG 13-rated movies 76%
   4. R-rated movies 68%
   5. NC-17-rated movies 10%
3. Most frequently watched movies are rated PG-13:
   1. Use of the f-word 25%
   2. Talk about intercourse 61%
   3. Imply sexual intercourse 50%
   4. Display intercourse 13%
   5. Show nudity 30%

Proposition

1. They are watching, hearing about, thinking, and possibly doing it.
2. The young people around us have been exposed to large quantities of sexually related material. Unbiblical thought processes and sexual imaginations are filling their minds.
3. There is a strong possibility that sexual sins are plaguing many of the young people in our churches.
   1. Some will have already lost their virginity.
      Guys: Sensual thought lives
      Girls: Guilt, shame, and a struggle to understand God’s forgiveness
   2. Some will be controlled by their sexual sins.

As we seek to help young people grow into Christlikeness, we should have biblical answers for this need.

Finding Out the Problem

1. Listen for the clues
   1. Sexual overtones
   2. Talk of having a boyfriend or girlfriend
      1. Girls: Listen for things like, “Guys can’t be trusted” or “All guys are jerks.”
      2. Guys: Listen to what they are watching and the direction of their conversations.
2. Ask the questions
   1. Can you tell me about your thought life?
   2. Why do you distrust guys so much?
   3. What kind of things have you done with your boyfriend or girlfriend that weren’t right?

Reasons Why We Go After the Decision

1. We care enough to confront.
2. We know that their relationship with God is more important than a relationship with man.
3. We know that it is worth it for them to be right with God.

Reasons Why We Don’t Go After the Decision

1. We really don’t care for them.
2. We struggle with recognizing that a relationship with God is more important than a relationship with man.
3. We struggle with the sin they are struggling with and are hesitant to confront because of it.

Understand the Problem

Romans 1:24–32

1. Refusal to acknowledge God as the ultimate authority in our life
   1. 1 Corinthians 6:19–20
   2. Colossians 1:15–16
   3. Isaiah 53:6
2. Refusal to be held accountable to God in our life
   1. Romans 1:18
   2. Galatians 6:7
   3. Romans 14:11–12
3. Application
   1. Start with salvation!
   2. Remember that refusing to acknowledge God’s authority and to be accountable to Him is the problem. Men and women do not have unusual sexual drives that give them the right to sin sexually. Sex is not a need. Sex outside marriage is a revelation of a heart problem with which God is very displeased.

Give Hope

1 Corinthians 6:9–11; 10:13

1. There are no unique situations.
2. God is faithful.
3. We are always able to do right.
4. There is a biblical solution.

Present the Decision

1. Salvation—present the decision in the context of the sexual sin with which you are dealing.
2. Confession of sin for making themselves their own authority and doing that which displeased God.
   1. Sex outside marriage (Hebrews 13:4)
   2. Sexual thought life (Romans 8:5–8)

Develop a Plan

1. Burn the Bridges Principle
   1. Radically amputate.
   2. Understand the flesh (1 Corinthians 15:34).
   3. Make it hard to go back.
2. Feed/Starve Principle
   1. Feed the Spirit.
   2. Starve the flesh.

Conclusion

1. Do not promise confidentiality.
2. Be careful about your own personal testimony.
3. Be careful about what you read as you study purity.
4. Guys don’t counsel girls on purity alone, and vice versa for girls.
5. Good books
   1. How To Say No to a Stubborn Habit by Erwin Lutzer
   2. At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry by Steve Gallagher
   3. The Myth of Safe Sex by John Ankerberg and John Weldon
   4. Failure: The Backdoor to Success by Erwin Lutzer